Annual Young Executive Bike Ride

Day 1

At 5:30am the usual suspects gathered in front of the church (except for Andy who was working and would meet us later). At 6:00am prompt we set off, the idea being to stop for breakfast on the way. We turned up at the Little Chef, as planned, for opening time at 7:00 only to meet  the most miserable manager in England, ‘I’ve slept in and I’m not ready and anyway you can’t come in until there’s another member of staff so you’ll just have to wait until then’ he greeted us with!  This led to the question, if he had slept in and only arrived at 7, where was the other person who should have been there? Alarm clocks seeming to be in short supply, rather than wait and spend our hard earned money there we carried on to Alston arriving at 7:30am.

Alston was shut!

We turned the van around and as we were about to leave we spotted a Spar service station that did a remarkably good bacon sandwich and cup of coffee for £2. Could this already be the best buy of the weekend?

As we consumed our bacon butties in the rain with the midges, John realised that he had forgotten his swimming trunks, as later we were  having to rough it in a hotel with a swimming pool. We suspected skinny dipping was likely to be banned (or unfortunately for us all now, tubby dipping) and we needed to find somewhere that sold trunks. “Can you get me some as well?” said Morris and Dave A.

So as we got on our bikes to ride Roger and Derek took on the Gok Wan personal shopping job; was it to be shorts, Speedos or Mankinis? We would soon find out.

The ride started as usual with a BIG HILL but then 15 miles of great riding, a mix of off road, track and road was spoiled only by the persistent rain. Soon we were in Haltwhistle for a well earned coffee break but sadly no swimming trunks.  The search would continue as we carried on through some heavy rain to our agreed meeting point for lunch at Once Brewed. Arriving there we had a 30 minute wait as the van was gridlocked in Tescos’ car park while on the trunks hunt, however the two assistants at the Once Brewed Visitor Centre were extremely helpful and let us stay warm and dry indoors until the van arrived (even if Dave T. managed to leave an incredibly large damp patch on the seats). They even let us eat our lunch there. More importantly SUCCESS! Three pairs of swimming shorts and all at sale prices; £13 for the lot. Ladies you know who to send out for those bargains now!

After lunch we set off for Bellingham and hit the worst weather of the day; visibility down to 50m, wind and persistent rain in your face as well as some very rough off road stretches where the loose gravel track made you feel as though you were going to spill off your bike on every twist of the road.

Finally we reached Bellingham, the rain stopped and the sun came out!

We had a small celebratory drink, parked the bikes and went for a quick swim feeling that we needed a little more exercise. At this point Darren found out that he has better balance on a bike than on his feet as he slipped by the side of the pool, luckily landing on his well padded rear. No harm done.

The pool also had the world’s coldest sauna, you went in warm and came out blue; a better effect would have been achieved sitting next to a boiling kettle, so the sauna was ditched  and we went for tea instead and had a very pleasant meal . As we retired for some post prandial refreshment we were joined by Andy. Angela had kindly brought him over just late enough to avoid the drinks. Angela left soon after facing a 1:30 hour drive back home only to find she was locked out and had to go to the pub to find her son with some keys. At least that’s the story she is sticking to.

Early to bed after a good but long day.

Day 2

The sun was shining as we awoke keen and eager to get on our bikes!

After a very pleasant light breakfast!! We set out, the sun had gone in and it was overcast but warm as we came to a BIG HILL then a small dip and a BIG HILL, followed by a BIG HILL before we finally had some descent into the village of Elsdon for coffee in the Cyclone cafe, a cafe devoted to cyclists boasting a tea room full of memorabilia including a genuine Tour de France Yellow Jersey. The owners informed us that there was a big bike ride on called the Virgin Cyclone and we would pass the riders as they were on the same route as us but travelling in the opposite direction. And we did indeed pass them and 1200 hellos, good mornings and well dones later, we were able to stop for lunch at Alwinton. It must be pointed out here that John did stop to take a photograph only to have a passing rider feel his bottom. We are still not sure if the rider was male or female!

During lunch Roger and Derek managed to find somewhere to watch the Lions take on Australia while  we ploughed on over some big hills and serious steep clarty, claggy off road bits, where you were in danger of coming off your bike and stretches that could not be ridden due to the conditions,  until we reached Powburn with only  another ten miles to go to Wooler, our stop for the night. At least that was the plan until Roger sent us in the complete opposite direction! Those last ten miles on the map ended up as 12 ½ on the road and it was with great delight we finally reached our destination for the night, the Tankerville Arms in Wooler.

One of the things about the Tankerville Arms is that they attach your room key to a 12 inch teddy bear so that you don’t lose them. Of course the idea is that you remove the keys, if for example you go to the bar. Or you don’t if you are Andy and the sight of him at the bar clutching his teddy bear and looking like Christopher Robin brought a tear to your eye.

After our evening meal we retired to the lounge and as was pointed out, rather than looking like the post race Tour de France, it looked more like an old folks home .  A vibrant theological and political debate took place until we had bored ourselves silly and we all went to bed.

Day 3

After forcing ourselves to partake of another healthy breakfast we were again ready to go at 8:30am. You can’t say we are not keen!

Weather windy but fair and soon we were racing along passing Doddington Dairy the home of very nice ice cream, but unfortunately not open at 9:15am on a Sunday, so we continued on through Ford past Heatherslaw Mill and into Etal where as luck would have it another chance for us to bolster the local economy by having a cup of coffee at the Lavender Coffee shop.  A quick photo opportunity in front of Etal Castle and then a brilliant off road stretch by the riverside culminating in a very steep and slippery hairpin section up to the road. It was here that the only flat tyre of the weekend happened 1 mile away from the finish. Some running repairs and into Norham where we were able to load up and head home pausing only for Sunday lunch on the way.

Finally home and a quick unpack and chill out at the rugby club, a good way to finish another successful ride.

Another brilliant weekend, hard riding, good company and lots of laughs. If you think you are up to the task why not join us next year?